Monday, 27 October 2014

Will I ever get back to normal?

Well it's about 12 weeks in and I'm still hobbling around on the crutches.  It didn't help my mood when my son-in-law told me yesterday that a friend of his who had also broken his leg/ankle the same week as I had is now back driving his car and moving around without his crutches.  How to motivate people!!

I was feeling on a relative high since the physio this week had told me I was progressing well, in fact I should slow down because I was doing too much hence the sore foot & ankle most of the time.  Never having been in this position before I don't know what is normal and what isn't!  I'm being told I have to be patient which isn't one of my strongest points.  My mind wanders and I wonder if the leg/ankle will ever be the same again.  It doesn't feel much like it at the moment but I live on in hope.  None of my family have visited me since the injury although we speak on the 'phone I miss them and my grandchildren a lot but this seems to be the way of family these days it would appear but it does not do much for the motivation of oneself.

It's hard being trapped indoors it feels extremely frustrting not being able to do a fraction of what I could do in the past.  Always a very busy person not sitting still for more than 10 minutes this enforced re-habilitation goes totally against what I am used to and thus frustration returns constantly.

Normally a very positive person it is hard to find positive things to keep me motivated and strong.  I know there are folks far worse off than me and have life-threatening conditions but it still debilitates your whole being both physically, emotionally and mentally.  I have to soldier on doing my exercises reguarly and constantly battling through the pain barrier is not great but I live in hope that one morning I will wake up and the foot is and remains its normal size I can climb up and down the stairs at my usual fast pace and just be able to saunter up into my garden to enjoy the view.  Can't wait for that morning but guess I will have to.

Monday, 13 October 2014

Strange Goings-on at the Crem

We recently attended a close friend's funeral at our local crematorium on Friday 10th October.  This dear friend from my bowls club was only 69 and this time last year was relatively healthy but had been diagnosed with Leukaemia after going for a routine blood test.  His life had been turned upside down needless to say.  In the marriage there was only him and his wife both devoted to each other unable to have children they had built up a great marriage of some 45 years so to discover this potentially life-threatening illness had devasted them both. 

Regardless of this they carried on their life as normally as was possible.  However after 2 doses of chemo, the 3rd proved the final one since it caused him to have a stroke followed by a heart attack with him being resuscitated 3 times.  No more chemo thus the leukaemia was terminal & un-treatable resulting in his death on 24th Sept.  We attended the funeral with a guard of honour being provided by fellow members of the bowls club.  However half way through the ceremony, a congregation member was himself taken ill thus resulting in the service being called to a halt for some 15 - 20 minutes.  The grieving widow had no choice but to continue sitting in the front row with her husband's coffin ahead whilst the said poorly member was being administed to by others in the congregation.  The person had partially collapsed and was being treated on the floor.  An ambulance and para-medic had to be called and all the while we had to wait in relative silence whilst this was going on.  Eventually the poorly person was placed on a chair and taken outside by other congregation members to await the ambulance. 

It was such a surreal experience all this going on and all the while sitting there staring at the coffin awaiting his committal.  A strange phenomena one hopefully never to be repeated but reminded oneself how fragile our life can be and how it hangs in the balance over which we have very little control if our health gives out.

Update & Review

Having taken great delight in following my Granddaughter's blog I felt it was time to update mine - particularly since I have added zilch since 2012.  Where has the time gone and what's happened over those last 2 years - too much to catch up on this new post!!

However since I am somewhat incapacitated due to breaking my leg 8 weeks ago I guess this is a good opportunity to get cracking again (no pun intended).  I broke the leg whilst taking the dog out for a walk, early morning, nothing unusual just rather dewy grass and an uneven rise in the ground caused the break as I slipped on the damp grass.  A split second moment that changed my life somewhat over these last few weeks. 

I knew I had broken the leg from the moment I heard the fateful snap that seems to accompany any broken bones.  Luckily for me it wasn't a compound fracture i.e. bones coming out of the skin.  However I had broken both the tibula and fibula which I did not expect.  The breaks were very clear from the x-rays, clean breaks slanting from right to left on both bones. A true reflection of what happened since my foot just went one way i.e. to the left whilst the rest of my body fell to the right hence the snap.  Just an ordinary morning in some ways but obviously not from the rest of the day onwards.

I had to keep the leg raised no weight at all for 4 weeks.  I had a heavier plaster fitted after the 1st week and then it was removed at just 5 weeks so I could begin to weight bear.  I experienced more pain after the plaster was removed than at the actual break time.  It's due to the continual swelling I have experienced ever since and that's all down to circulation and muscle collapse.  After my 1st physio last week and doing painful exercises all which are meant to improve my leg, I am beginning to see a change but it is such hard work and so frustrating.  I did not realise how incapacitating it is to lose the use of a limb even for a comparatively short time.  However it has made me realise just how hard it is for people who are disabled in so many ways and how un-user friendly some places are for people.  Even shopping with a disabled trolley that fits to a wheelchair.  You cannot get a day's shopping in those ridiculously small trollies - let alone a weeks shop!!

At home my son and husband have both been bricks in helping me over the last few weeks and they have had to put up with much - fetching and carrying for me because I just cannot do stuff.  The first few weeks were hard with all of us having to come to terms with this situation and it hasn't been easy for any of us.  So tempers were somewhat frayed but I think it has settled down now but it is still hard for us all.  For me it felt at times that the 4 walls were crowding in on me and I missed being out in the fresh air and just being able to do things as I am normally a very busy person.  It's hard moving slowly around on crutches and very tiring.  The left side of my body has had to pile on muscle to support the right side and uneven legs look odd to me.  The pressure bruises on my hands are still there and now I'm developing callouses. 

Yesterday was the first day I was able to have a full bath and it was blissful to get rid of my hard flaking dry skin and just enjoy the warm water.  Such a simple chore but previously taken for granted.  I can't wait to get properly mobile again but it will be a long time coming at least another 6 weeks so I have had to learn more patience and let nature take its course however hard that has become.

I have had close friends telephone me and take me out for lunch breaks to just relieve the boredom and for that I am truly grateful.  Its at times like this you find out who is really there for you in times of need from both family and friends.  Let's see now if I can keep this going at least for a while.  Now on to some physio to push further pain barriers but I have to keep telling myself it is for my own good and things should get better - eventually!!