Tuesday, 11 January 2011

Gizmo, Geek & Grandma! - Part 1

I've just had a new scanner installed at work - my other dinosaur finally gave up the ghost before Christmas at last.  The "IT" "Geek" came to install it for me after it had been "PAT" tested, he installed it with the "Disc Drive" in "the Driver" I think, asked if I used "PDF" mode and demonstrated its capabilities whilst talking to his IT colleague about Ipods, iBusinesses, Blue Tooths, Blu-rays, Adobe ......... lah di dah di dah!!

I sit amongst all this and wonder what the hell is this world coming to - have I missed out on a bit of my English lesson or have we developed another language and someone forgot to tell me about it?? 

When I was at school, PAT was a boy or girl's name or something you did when you indicated your lap was safe for the cat to sit on with a gentle pat on the lap; Disc Drive - well never invented actually although it reminded me of times in my youth when someone was a bit tipsy and said "Disc" followed by a loud hiccough instead of  the word "Disco" which we were driving to on the back of a scooter; "the driver" well self-explanatory he or she was the person who got us to the Disco wasn't quite so tipsy as the rest of us and the only one who wasn't seeing double, thus just about capable of doing the driving; PDF - well I could only think of Pretty Darned Foolish - which is what I'm feeling now because I haven't got a clue what this new language is all about!! Where does that leave "Ipod, iBusinesses, Blue Tooth - well I have'nt got one in my mouth I'm glad to say - just a nice new white one, Blu-ray - can't imagine only memories of Stingray and the wonderful puppetry that I watched (along with the children of course!!) spring to mind, Adobe - well that's easy - isn't that Spanish or Mexican or something for somewhere to live??

The Geek is enthusiastic about my new scanner demonstrating all it's capabilities in full, graphic detail complete with IT language - and leaves me - well - no better off than when he took it out of its box!!  He's left me with a manual to read so I can get to grips with it should I have any problems!!  Manual - well its more like the Encyclopaedia Britannica!!  I stare at the machine and the Manual of several 100 pages - oh Lordy - all I want is to be able to produce copies of papers for my boss and email (I get this word now) them!!  I'm loathe to press any of the buttons in case it goes into overdrive or whatever it is but press I must.  Suddenly I'm missing my old dinosaur scanner and a deep sense of grief has befallen me.  Ah well Grandma - not long 'til retirement - just grit your teeth and see what comes up on the screen - fingers crossed its the paperwork I put on the glass for scanning - if not I may have to consult the Geek - no that's a fate worse than death itself!!  I wouldn't mind but the Geek bless him, is younger than my son - was he born with this knowledge? - I need to catch up big time - actually don't think I'll bother, I like being un-IT-initiated - you know normal!! Please say a prayer for me and I'll let you know if it worked - later!!!

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